God, You are forever faithful...

 

  Today as I was exploring Twitter, I came across my previous blog URL at my biography. I was reminded about the blog I created a year ago. It was to tell the world about Jesus's love, kindness and goodness in my life - a compilation of all my testimonies and revelations. I decided to read through my posts, and I was reminded of God's faithfulness in my life... The posts were extremely encouraging and timely. It was then I realized that the Lord has used my previous blog posts to encourage me...

  Ever since I've dropped out of Psychology and Community Services (Ngee Ann Poly), I've been feeling so lost... Being so tied up with ministry work as well, I feel like I am drying up. Adding on to the pressure, everybody is bombarding me with their different inputs: which direction I should head to, where they feel is the best for me, which institution to enroll etc. My parents are telling me one thing, Pastors and Church leaders telling me another, and friends are merely wishing me the best in everything I do. It's impossible to please everybody, and I'm always caught in a predicament. Sometimes I feel that I'm drowning the voices of people, I can't seem to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit... I've been escaping from my problems, suppressing my emotions and occupying myself with all the work. I know deep inside me, I resent this feeling. Every time I cry out "Lord, where are you?", but the Lord seems so far away... Everything seems to be falling apart and I'm feeling so frustrated with life.

  However, today, the Lord has reaffirmed me that He has never once left me... I created this blog during the days at GLC (Glenn Lim Consultancy). I am someone who gives up easily - this is one of my shortcomings. Throughout the 3 months of internship at GLC, my family members saw how I was struggling and they wanted me to give up. This always happens. Every single time my family sees me struggling, they feel that I should just give up. Then again, I understand its because they love me too much to see me in pain. Sometimes, I just wish to use my family as an excuse, give in to my carnal nature and give up as well... Thankfully, the Lord reminded me of His promises over and over again through the word of God, during that period at GLC. This kept me going and I managed to pull through those 3 months of "stretching".

  Now, as I reflect back on my first working experience in this society, I can only admit at how I'm amazed and thankful that it was GOD who led me through it. This very day, I'm facing with a more challenging situation... Likewise, lacking the discipline to keep up with the work and having so much on my plate, I can't seem to digest anything. So many things on my mind, and the work load just keeps piling up. I'm feeling lost, an exact replica of what I experienced a year ago. No direction, no vision, no focus. Everything seems hopeless, and my future seems bleak. Times like these, its so hard to keep on keeping on. No motivation to do anything at all. Sometimes, I accomplish tasks given just for the sake of accomplishing it. Just feeling so lifeless and listless. But today, as I read through my blog posts and the verses that were God's promises to me, I felt alive once again. The motivation to strive for excellence is back.

Below are some of the promises of God that I would like to confess once again:
(Common verses that were posted last year) 

1)Discipline 

Sometimes I feel that I am not discipline enough to complete tasks on time, especially with so much work needed to be done... it is tough. Also, studying in SOT requires discipline to get up early, but SLEEP is ESSENTIAL for me! And the devil seems to be putting in thoughts in my mind that I am not able to wake up on time... It's alright to lead an ill-disciplined life.


BUT GOD PROMISES:

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a SPIRIT OF POWER, of LOVE and of SELF-DISCIPLINE."
2 Timothy 1:7

"No, I BEAT MY BODY and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
1 Corinthians 9:27

2) Fear that I'll not be able to succeed and overcome challenges

When I first came into SOT, on the very very first day, I said a prayer to the Lord to mould me, test me, put me through trials and tribulations... that I may become stronger. But when facing those trials and tribulations, I realized that its so hard to hold on! Many times I feel that I am not able to make it. Not only so, it seems that everybody surrounding me is telling me that I am not good enough. Sometimes, I feel so helpless.

BUT GOD PROMISES:

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
So we may say with confidence, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER; I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT CAN MAN DO TO ME?"
Hebrews 13:5-6

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

3) Perseverance

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. I lack perseverance. Thus, I need the word of God to keep me going when times get tough! When I'm weak, then I am strong. I can only depend on the strength of our Lord Jesus Christ... Times I feel like giving up,


BUT GOD PROMISES:

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."
Hebrews 10:36

4) Tired

And through all these tough times, its just physically, mentally, emotionally and sometimes spiritually draining....


BUT GOD PROMISES:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
²⁹ 


Isaiah 40:29-31

5) I feel that I have no future... 

Too many options to choose, but nothing seems to be turning out right. I feel that I do not know what I want to accomplish in life. There are too many choices. Sometimes, I feel so lost, as if I have no prospects.

BUT GOD PROMISES:

"For I know the plans I have for You," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11



Sometimes circumstances, situations, people, everything seems to be against you. The Lord seems so far away, and you feel so hopeless and frustrated with life. But it is through this period of time we have to lean not on our own understanding, but trust in the Lord with all of our hearts. A test of faith?

Today, I am confessing the promises of God. Things do not seem to be favorable to me, but I know the Lord has a divine plan for me - plans to give me hope and a future. I believe that He has brought me through so much, so far, to strengthen me. Enlarging my capacity so that He may use me in a greater way. And in future, I'll be able to share my experience with all my disciples.

Tonight, I've experienced the peace of God... this peace that no words from men, or things of the world is able to produce. But only Jehovah Shalom. Tonight, I'm coming back to the heart of worship...

If God could lead me through those 3 months of internship, He will continue to lead me the rest of my life... 3 years, 30 years, till the day I meet Jesus face to face.

I know,

My God, is a faithful God.

(NIV) 1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.

Committing and Surrendering

I've been completely stressed out these days.
or maybe, I still am.
So I've been taught, every time these things happen, when things go upside down leave you spinning around, you commit them all to Jesus.

but, I think the best part I've learnt is not just committing, but surrendering.

Difference between committing and surrendering?
committing - to entrust, especially for safekeeping; commend
surrendering - to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.
credits to http://www.dictionary.com/

From dictionary.com, we can clearly see what it means to commit.
when you COMMIT, you just merely trust, and you COMMIT something into Jesus's hands.
But when you SURRENDER, you really give Jesus your everything, you submit yourself before Him and just tell Him: Jesus, take control.

I feel that these few weeks it has been rather tormentful, be it spiritually emotionally or physically. I've been so tired these days, and I just feel like leading an aimless life.
Yes, aimless. I feel like just stoning at a vase of flowers, or watching gossip girl 24 hours and just slack my life. ROT AT HOME.

and I've been praying to God, Oh Lord, I commit this this this into your hands, help me please.

and today, finally, the Holy Spirit convicted me...
He told me, do you just want to commit all these tiny things into God's hand, or do you want to completely surrender before Him.

and I was like yes... I've been complaining to God about all these things, committing all my problems into His hands but I believe God wants more than just that.
He is happy that we trust in Him enough to commit our problems to His hands, but thats not it! He wants us to fully surrender our lives to Him.
A complete surrender into His hands and let Jesus take control over our lives.

And now, as I blogged, I'm even more convinced to say,
God, I surrender my life into Your hands.
Deal with it.

Discipline

I'm currently doing work.
Really tired, having aches all over.
Sometimes, I just feel like giving up and runaway.

BUT.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a SPIRIT OF POWER, of LOVE and of SELF-DISCIPLINE."
2 Timothy 1:7

and

"No, I BEAT MY BODY and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
1 Corinthians 9:27
* act of discipline

so... I'm going to learn from Apostle Paul and discipline my body to do my work.
anyway, I don't have much of a choice.
but its good to know that God is with me, and He is motivating me with His words. :D


back to work.

Choices

Everyday in life we make choices.
I thank God for giving us free will.

In Proverbs 14: we see that in life there are many choices we can make.
We can choose to be foolish and sin, or we can choose to be righteous and walk with God, and do His will.

I'm given a choice.
I can choose to be like the past, and be an escapee, just escape from all the problems and trust me, ITS EASIER.
or
I can choose to have a breakthrough (BreakThru oeiiii HAHA.), and totally take a step of FAITH and COURAGE to do what is necessary.

I haven't been able to sleep well the past few nights. All that I can think of is how life is so horrible with all these decisions needed to be made and how I'm so indecisive.
And I think about why is it that people have to do all these things which makes me so oppressed, and why is it I am such a coward that I don't dare to speak for myself, and suppress all my emotions.
No matter how many chocolates I ate it just ain't no use manz. :/

And this very morning, thank God for waking me up.
Pastor Jimmy called me, but it was unintentional. Somehow his mobile called me.
So later, the unintentional call became intentional.
He talked to me about how I have to decide things myself, and about porcelein vases and expensive vases which totally made sense la.

And I start to recall and think about how God is so good to me...
Of all people, He chose ME to work at GLC, to put me in all these predicaments so that I can learn!
And when He knows I am unable to manage, He send all His faithful servants to talk to me.
I thank God for Tingjie, for her unwavering support and advices in everything I do. It definitely brought me the comfort and motivation that I need to get through the day.
I thank God for Pastor, for his wisdom never once fails to hit me right in my face.

And I thank God, for teaching me and reminding me all the verses that once spoke into my life and is now ready for application.
Previously, Tingjie asked me to do QT on Hebrews. and now, God reminds me of all the verses, to give me that support I need.

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
So we may say with confidence, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER; I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT CAN MAN DO TO ME?"
Hebrews 13:5-6

Seriously, all my previous fears were TOTALLY redundant.
I have the Holy Spirit here with me. I have God watching over me.
Whats there to fear?
Yes, I know everybody is saying how low my pay is.
But if this is the will of God, I will obey.


I shall end off with a verse to encourage everybody. :) Something that pull through my day:

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

God will make a way where there seems to be no way. :)
Amen.


Thank You Lord Jesus,
I'll learn through these trials you've placed me in,
to be that Expensive Vase,
and when that day comes,
I'll give all glory to Jesus,
and this blog...
will be my evidence of your Kindness, Goodness and Mercy :)

transformation

Matthew 9:14-17

V17: Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.


Interesting sharing from Pastor Glenn...

My Comfort

Jesus, at times when I am down, You embrace me with Your unfailing love.
You comfort me in times of distress.
What would I do without You....

Those small little things You do for me in life,
to make things easier for me,
How am I to deny your Holy presence when it is so imminent?

I give thanks to You Lord, for all the wonderous things you have done for me.

When it was pouring down so heavily, and I had to go out to get things done, I said a silent prayer, "Dear Heavenly Father, please stop the rain.... I don't want to be drenched and I don't want to carry an umbrella as I walk out because it'd be so troublesome with all the things I have to carry."

You heard every small prayer I prayed.

The moment I stepped out, it stopped raining. The bus arrived exactly on the spot when I arrived at the busstop.
My God is an amazing God.

I was so distracted SMS-ing non-stop, I've almost forgotten I'm supposed to alight. Thank you Holy Spirit for all these small reminders. With Your guidance, I know its impossible for me to get lost. I managed to arrive at my destination.

And later on at macdonalds, it started pouring down really heavily again... I said another small prayer. By Faith, I knew God heard and He will stop the rain for me.
What else can I do but give all Glory to my Heavenly Father.

All these small things may seem nothing to you, but to me, it has touched me so deeply.
Once, you may say its coincidental. twice, fair enough. 3, 4, 5... countless times, I really have to admit God is watching over me. He knows and He understands and He hears.

Psalms 121:1-2, 5 (NIV)
"I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth... The Lord watches over you-- the Lord is your shade at your right hand;"

I love Psalms 121. It gives me this overwhelming sense of security, peace and I feel so loved by my Heavenly Father....


Working at GLC has really been refreshing for me. Previously I've spoken of how divine this opportunity was. Throughout my working experience, it has been tough, but at the same time, I thank God for revealing day by day, a little by little, His purpose for me in life.

Different working personalities has indeed led to conflicts. But at the same time, thank God for enlightening me through today's service about the diversity of different people.
God is indeed a creative God, to create us all differently. Praise the Lord for that!
These differences teaches me on how to work with different people, differently.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
Ephesians 4:2-3

I recall once after a conflict I had with a colleague of mine, during QT, God gave me this message. Today, He reminded me of this message once again.
I will obey the commandments He gave to me.
Many times I feel that I don't like the way people work, because its different. Many times I just feel like turning away and say, " I quit. I hate the way you work."
But no, this time I'll persevere for I'm learning.

I will learn to humble myself and be gentle. When its different, I will learn to work with that person. I will be patient. When people don't understand where I'm coming from, I'll explain with utmost patience, and bear with them, for I love. I will obey the word of God and make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit. Peace.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9

When the going gets tough, I thank Holy Spirit for reminding me my fav. verse of all times:
"The joy of the Lord is my strength."
Nehemiah 8:10

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."
Hebrews 10:36

For my Lord God almight has taught me this. He has promised me this.
I'll persevere for this is the will of the Lord. No matter how unhappy I may be, I trust in Him and I believe that He will reward me in due time.

Thank You Heavenly Father...
Once again, as I read the word of God, I find comfort that I seek. You are the only one that understands me.
You never once failed me. You always give me the peace that I need...
Thank You for Your unfailing love. :)


May God grant you the rest that you need, the peace that you seek, the joy to be found in Him. :)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)


Amen.